are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
