Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize