Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize