There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
