Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
