you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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