i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
