It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
