never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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