I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize