Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
