Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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