I wanna bring you to show and tell
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
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