that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
it hurts more in the daytime
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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