I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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