Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just found a bag of teeth...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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