We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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