we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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