i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize