; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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