i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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