Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
