The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
