is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
