I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize