I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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