Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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