I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
