if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
