she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
