i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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