Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
