You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
