this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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