youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
This baby is an asshole
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
