you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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