just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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