Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize