dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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