Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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