she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
