rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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