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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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