Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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