Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just threw up on my dentist
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
