you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
