You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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