What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
