he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
