Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
