you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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