You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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