Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
