Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
