so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
