if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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