i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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