tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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