Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
